Marriage Warfare

Warfare for Marriages: When Sin Enters Covenant

I want to share with you my personal experience with sex before marriage — how it affected my marriage and the consequences I had to face and live with because of it.

My husband and I met, and I was very clear from the beginning that I didn’t want to have sex before marriage. I meant it — at least in the beginning, I did. I wanted to hold him to a high standard of walking the path of celibacy with me until marriage. But truthfully, I was the one who eventually compromised. I spoke the words, “I want to wait until marriage,” but my actions revealed the opposite. I tempted him through sexual activities outside of intercourse — things that awakened desires God intended only for marriage.

I called myself a Christian, but my behavior went against the very moral and biblical standards I claimed to live by. Eventually, that led us into sexual sin before marriage, and I became pregnant before we could say “I do.” That moment exposed a deeper issue in my walk with God — one that I would later have to face and unravel.

The Covenant of Oneness

When you engage in sex with someone, you become one with them and enter into a covenant — a spiritual bond — whether married or not. God created sex to unite one man and one woman within marriage as His perfect design. Anything outside that covenant is a counterfeit created by the enemy.

The Bible calls fornication and sexual immorality sin, and when we give in to it, we open a door for Satan to enter before marriage even begins. When you sleep with someone outside covenant, it’s as if the enemy joins your union first — because the act was rooted in disobedience, not holiness.

God’s Word says:

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5

The Consequences of Disobedience

When we choose to ignore God’s command, we must be prepared to face the consequences of our disobedience. God is just, and sin always produces fruit — whether we see it immediately or years later.

When we got married, the very area we had abused before marriage — intimacy — became the area under attack. We went through seasons of a sexless marriage, and I realized that what God designed for joy and connection had become a place of warfare. We had enjoyed the gift outside of covenant, and the consequence was its delay and distortion inside the covenant.

Even when we repent, the consequences of sin do not always disappear. God forgives us, but He also disciplines and corrects us because He loves us. He allows us to walk through those seasons so that we learn obedience, humility, and reverence for His Word.

He gave us His Word as a warning before we fall and His Spirit as a guide after we fall — not to condemn us, but to restore us. His wrath was never meant for His children, but for the enemy who deceived them. When we disobey, we align ourselves with that enemy — and God, being just, must deal with sin righteously.

The Purpose Behind God’s Judgment

All throughout Scripture, God’s wrath and judgment were never about destruction — they were about restoration. His goal has always been to draw His people back to Himself. God takes no pleasure in punishing His children.

Let’s remember: He gave His one and only Son as the ultimate sacrifice so that through repentance, we can be made right in His sight. When we turn to Him, He not only forgives us — He delivers us. He sends His Spirit to dwell in us forever.

Many of us say, “It’s hard not to sin,” yet we forget that it’s not our strength that keeps us — it’s His Spirit within us. When we completely yield to God, His power transforms our desires and produces righteousness in us.

Too many of us claim to follow Christ while continuing in sin — saying the Holy Spirit is leading us when, in truth, our flesh is. That’s a dangerous deception. The Spirit leads to repentance, not rebellion.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

We are weak, yes — but He is not. When we surrender, His strength takes over, and our weakness becomes a testimony of His power.

A Call to Repentance and Restoration

I want to end by encouraging you to get into the presence of God and lay everything before Him — without shame, without pretense. He already knows, but He wants your surrender.

We have all fallen short, but the Lord is calling His people back to righteousness in this hour. Trials and tribulations will come — but they are different from willful sin. When we continue in sin, we give the enemy legal access — allowing him to plant himself in our lives, our homes, and the very covenant God intended to bless.

Before you become one flesh with someone else, make sure you have faced and conquered your own demons. What is not healed before covenant will manifest after covenant.

So lay it all down. Let God cleanse you, correct you, and prepare you for the kind of love that honors Him. Because true marriage — one built on holiness — is not just between two people. It’s a covenant with God Himself.